Some days a guy on my forum posted about a recent one-night stand he had. To make it short, he met a girl at a bar and ended up at her place with relatively little effort. His story was quite interesting to read because he didn't view it as a warning signal that the girl let him raw dog her:
I ate her out (risky) and then had unprotected sex with her, she let me do it without a condom. Wow!!!
We thought that this was indeed risky, but when questioned, he offered his assessment of the situation:
Usually I would not even think about unprotected sex but I figured since she was a grad and not some common bar slut I was at less of a risk.
Does something about this strike you as somewhat questionable?
Frankly, I think this is all just wishful thinking. If she acts like a "common bar slut" then it doesn't really matter that she is also a graduate students. Besides, just look at the situation of higher education today, which for many is just an excuse to have one four-year long party. I would not at all make the conclusion that a woman is more responsible because she happened to attend university while going out, drinking and trying to hook up with random guys as opposed to a girl who does that without being enrolled as a student somewhere.
More generally speaking, you can deduce very little about people if you don't know them. If everybody was so fantastic at reading cues, figuring out motives, or deducing one's background, then there wouldn't be so many crooks, liars and scam artists around. Just looking at guys like Tony Robbins or Tim Ferriss should be all the proof you need that people are out there to deceive, and that plenty of people are incredibly gullible. It's your choice to be honest. However, you should not easily make the assumption that anybody else is, and particularly not if you've known her for only half an hour or so.
It doesn't matter if she says, "Don't worry, I'm on the pill!" or, infinitely worse, "I've been with a lot of guys and nobody managed to knock me up yet." (True story, btw. I was so turned off by that that I got up and left.) Or let's say she's got some nasty STD. She also happens to be horny. So, what's more likely, that she asks you what you're waiting for or that she'll tell you about her most recent trip to the STD clinic, and that she was told to refrain from sex for a while?
In general, people are very poor at reading other people. Sure, tell yourself that she's some kind of Virgin Mary, but a much more realistic assessment is that you're probably not the first guy she's ever met. For all you know, she might go out every weekend and try to get laid.
The only plausible advice I can give is to not assume anything about a girl. Just think of yourself first, and forget about how sure you are that she doesn't have an STD or won't get pregnant. This won't help you at all if she hunts you down nine months later. "You Honor, I swear, she said she wouldn't get pregnant!", or if you have to pay a visit to your local STD clinic. "Doctor, I swear, nobody would have suspected that she has anything. She looked so sweet and innocent." (Those may be the worst, actually.) In the end you should be aware that you are making a choice. If you think sex without a condom is so much better than with that if outweighs all risks, then go ahead. However, you should be aware of what you might be getting into.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!
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