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Friday, 28 June 2013

PUA Travesty on Kickstarter

Posted on 04:50 by the great khali

While I certainly don't agree that literally anything is "rape" nowadays in the minds of some deluded feminists, including talking to a woman, I do think that the concept of "plowing" has been taken way too far in the PUA community. If you persist when the woman objects to your advances, you certainly met the criteria for sexual harassment. For an extreme example, look at my 2011 post RSD is cool with date rape.

Quite recently, I've been told about a Kickstarter project that was eventually banned, but only after it reached its funding goals. First, thanks to all those who pointed this out to me: Assanova, B., and an anonymous commenter. I don't follow the PUA scene much these days, so I'm grateful when people tell me about various absurdities. To recapitulate the story, Tofu Tofu, a guy from the seduction section on Reddit put up a Kickstarter project with the title, "Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women". Looking for controversy to get some buzz going, he mixed his mental masturbation with a good dose of sexual harassment. Here's a quote:
All the greatest seducers in history could not keep their hands off of women. They aggressively escalated physically with every woman they were flirting with. They began touching them immediately, kept great body language and eye contact, and were shameless in their physicality. Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That’s hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically.

 I do advocate getting physical with girls. However, getting physical with girls who aren't interested in you is nothing but stupid. Yes, this constitutes sexual harassment. Yes, sexual harassment can have serious real-world consequences. Yes, if you force yourself upon a girl who is not interested and end up having sex with her, you are not overcoming "LMR" but are in fact raping her. Seduction requires mutual sexual interest. Steamrolling doesn't cut it. Here's another quote from "Tofu Tofu" to illustrate the problem:
Decide that you’re going to sit in a position where you can rub her leg and back. Physically pick her up and sit her on your lap. Don’t ask for permission. Be dominant. Force her to rebuff your advances.
A comment from NeoGAF sums it up nicely:
There is bad dating advise and then there is criminal action date advice.
Tofu Tofu dramatically overplayed his hand, in his attempt to generate controversy. What an incredible slime ball he is was evident in the messages he sent to Jezebel, hoping to get some coverage:
I showed [Above the Game] to my brother's Jezebel-addicted ex-girlfriend and she went on a 3 hour diatribe about it. Your readers will eat it up! Come on, a bunch of nerdy guys on reddit live-blogging their exploits with women? You can't make this shit up :)
In case it isn't obvious: Tofu Tofu mocks the very people who had pledged about $15,000 on Kickstarter behind their back, and he also thinks that the Jezebel editor he has been emailing was completely stupid. Sure, his "brother's Jezebel-addicted ex-girlfriend [...] went on a 3 hour diatribe about it." Of course she did!

Resentment was building, though, and a petition was started that gathered over 60,000 supporters. Kickstarter responded, eventually taking down Tofu Tofu's project, and even updating their TOS to prohibit all seduction-related material. Well, I think the last step is a bit too dramatic, but it's not uncommon for "white knights" to over react and swing the ban hammer.

Let me now go off a tangent for a bit and point out that the petition was quite likely driven by a feminist mob. Coverage on Jezebel is one indication of that. Another are comments like by one Nora Hunt:
Horrifying! Thank goodness action against this was (finally) taken. That Reddit forum is equally troubling to me...guys with that terrible mindset frighten me. Do we really need a place for them to congregate (even online)?
Sure, Nora, let's just censor everything you girls don't like! Who needs free speech anyway. Oh, and with all the trouble Jezebel went through to (deservedly) bash TofuTofu, I wish they would spend some time so talk about low-lifes such as multi-millionaire Susan Wilson who scammed a good $20,000 out of the Kickstarter community so that her daughter "could learn how to code." At least she was playing contemporary "we need more women in tech" feminist sentiments like a pro. (For further info, read this, and this.)
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