You would be stupid to blindly trust women

There was a calm, and well-written comment by a woman on my article Pushy, 'mature' women, and their exploitative nature. She wrote:

Just because there are older women out there that are manipulative and controlling, doesn't mean it is beneficial for you to internalize this and so believe you need to exact revenge and fuck and use other women in turn. If that's what you believe you need to do, then by all means go ahead and do it, but also take a look at how that mindset is affecting your own peace of mind. If it's making you more paranoid and agitated and closed off, then what's the use?

What's the use of all this distrust and bitterness if it will inform all of your relationships with women; with people?

First of all, I have no idea why “revenge fucks” are mentioned. I certainly never bothered to fuck a woman, pump and dump her, just so that I could have my revenge on the female sex. Revenge for what? I anything, women claim that guys pump and dump them and are “assholes”, because they themselves never realised that the guy wasn’t serious to begin with. It’s mind boggling to me how you can go home with a woman, spend a night with her, make it clear in words and actions that you do not intend to see her again, only to then get harassed on the phone for weeks. Granted, that kind of behaviour is more common if you hook up with teenagers, but it’s still quite startling. One teenager once texted me that I was "worse than Hitler".  You meet so many wackos, it's unbelievable. But let's get back on topic.


The world is a pretty evil place. There are entire industries devoted to exploiting the naive. Remember when, in the wake of the subprime mortgage crisis in the US, some commenters tried blaming the consumers? Apparently you can scam an entire nation, and then just throw your hands up in the air and say that it wasn't your fault. None of the bigwigs ended up in jail either. Look at how higher education is set up in the US and UK, or or how many utterly pointless insurances there are, or how corrupt a field politics is. Do you know that Israeli PR accuses people of anti-Semitism for protesting against their slaughtering of the Hamas? It’s not as if fundamentally corrupt institutions emerge because human beings are virtuous angels. Quite a few are pretty rotten, men and women alike, which if obviously the explanation why the world is such an incredibly fucked up place.

There is the feminist propaganda that women don’t lie, and are always to be trusted. You’d have to be a complete idiot to believe that. No, I’m not saying that there is no woman you can trust. Absolute statements are very difficult to prove, after all. However, there is an enormous difference between claiming that people can’t be trusted in general, and advising them to think for a bit when something seems fishy.

Let’s say you’re a 38 year old guy with a stable job, nothing too glamorous, but allowing you to have a reasonably comfortable lifestyle. Women never paid much attention to you, but now there is one, 36 and at best mildly attractive, who pushes for marriage and children after knowing you for a few weeks. Unlike other women who seemed closed off, or those who seemed interested but you didn’t know how to make a move, this woman makes things really easy for you. You ended up so quickly in bed, you didn’t know what was going on.

Should that guy view himself in heaven, or in front of the open gates of hell?

Of course she might be Virgin Mary, has only had one or two sexual partners, have a stable job and whatnot, and saved herself just for him. Much more likely, though, is that she is desperately trying to reel that guy in.

All you can do is make precautions. Don’t think that everybody is out to scam you, but do keep in mind that there are many rotten apples out there. The dating arena is indeed highly dangerous for men. If you have a prenup, it might get thrown out in some jurisdictions. In some jurisdictions, marrying a woman is in fact tantamount to enslaving yourself, forcing you to pay lifelong alimony even if you divorce her as a consequence of her inexcusable behavior. Of course, things wouldn’t be quite so bad if modern women would still value the institution of marriage, instead of viewing it as a fast track to personal profit.

Just look up some statistics: women initiate the vast majority of divorces. They are also highly likely to cuckold their partners. Heck, paternity fraud is so common that we have a legal term for it. If it was a very rare occurrence, then there wouldn't even be a fixed term to refer to the phenomenon. There are countries like France where the alleged father will be jailed if he has a DNA test administered to verify paternity. Even worse, in many jurisdictions, that man would even have to pay child support for a kid who isn’t his. Words fail to describe what an incredible slap in the face this is for men. And then feminist propagandists wonder why men are opting out of marriage, preferring to MGTOW it! Of course there is feminist propaganda according to which it shouldn’t matter whose kid it is, because fatherhood is more than a “genetic link”. Seriously, what kind of man likes the prospect of spending a small fortune on raising another man’s child? Hey, if you don't mind paying for one, why not pay for a few others who aren't yours?

You would have to be incredibly stupid to blindly trust other people. Trust has to be earned, and it can very easily be lost. I wonder how a woman whom some guy has known for just a few week or months, and who now wants kids and a marriage could have earned any kind of trust. Her pushiness should make you loses all trust in her. Or think of cases where she “accidentally” got pregnant: a sane man would conclude that this fact alone invalidates her being a worthy partner. Of course, you would have to ask yourself how come that you got her pregnant in the first place. I hope you were aware of the risks that came with her claiming that she's on the pill, and that you shouldn't worry.

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If women are friendly to you, you’re doing something wrong

Following up to my latest post, You have to make a move to know whether she’s really interested in you, I’d like to explore the issue of female friendliness during interactions in bars and night clubs. You’ve probably experienced that women who are interested in you will show this to you in some way or another, and eventually by leaving the place with you. Then there are those who are not interested will want you to go away.


However, there are also woman who are not at all interested in you on a sexual level, but who won’t mind your company. For one, maybe she’s getting bored of her friends, and cock teasing some schmuck is more fun. This is even better if you look as if you don’t dare to make a move. If you walked up to a girl, clearly looking for sexual compatibility, and turned things sexual, she would know what’s up. She’d either go with it, or say something like, “not here”, suggesting to make out in a more private place, be it an apartment, your car, or whatnot.

But if she wasn’t interested, and you were being sexual, say by letting your lips “accidentally” brush her cheek as you speak to her, she would quickly distance herself. True, some women claim to need more time, but there is a good chance that those of the more calculating kind who first want to thoroughly evaluate your status in life before they spread their legs for you.

However, if you talk to a girl and she shows no sign of either approval or disapproval, it means that you are, from a sexual perspective, invisible for her. That’s why you end up hearing that she’s “not that kind of girl” if you try to kiss her, even though the next guy will give her a proper pounding in his car, because she just can’t wait long enough.

The upshot is that getting a neutral reaction from girls is a death knell. Just think of the music you’re listening to at home: it’s probably stuff you like, and the music you don’t like you don’t listen to. There is also muzak, you know, the background music you hear in elevators and stores. It’s thoroughly inoffensive, with no distinctive qualities at all. In fact, you neither like or dislike it. Instead, you are throughly indifferent towards it. But would you listen to it at home? Probably not.

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You have to make a move to know whether she’s really interested in you

There was an interesting remark by a member of my forum recently. He wrote:

The reactions I got from women recently and in past times when I tried to physically escalate rapidly at nighttime have shown me that women who seemed sexually interested at first have been turned off by it. Of course, they could have not been interested in the first place.

There were a few things that stood out to me. First, how can you be sure that she is sexually interested if you just stand there, and if she’s acting rather passively? It wasn’t as if she couldn’t keep her hands off him, or was squeezing his junk. The guy in question admitted, which is nothing to be ashamed of, that he has had very little sexual experience with women.

A mistake many inexperienced guys make, and one that is accidentally or deliberately exploited by alleged pickup gurus is that they mistake mere friendliness for sexual interest. This is why those gurus teach you “openers” that are non-sexual and not particularly risky. You’re supposed to entertain them, and gradually turn things sexual. She tolerates your presence, and you mistakenly believe you're making progress, even though you're only treading water.

If she’s not sexually attracted, then it doesn’t really matter how interesting you stories are. True, she may willingly listen to you, but she’s not going to fuck you — unless you turn out to be a successful standup comedian with millions in the bank.

She looks at you and knows whether she’s interested. It’s a biological response. If you bang her and later on ask for why she ended up going home with you, you’ll only get some instantaneously made up explanation that may or may not be true. This is because sexual attraction is a biological response, not a rational one. On the other hand, fucking a guy just for his money is something she does because she's been thinking her plan through. However, those of you who belong to that category of guy may know that such women act much differently towards you than those who are sexually attracted.

But let’s say she’s standing there and seemingly enjoys your presence. Maybe you think she’s sexually interested. It could of course also be the case that she just wants some male attention, to appear desired, or get some free drinks out of you. It’s easy for her to pretend that she’s interested in you as long as you don’t make a move. It's also very easy for her to pretend that she's sexy and attractive if she's got some guy talking to her, even if she isn't interested in him at all. Plenty of women won't turn an opportunity down to get their ego stroked. It just doesn't mean that she'll stroke your cock in return.

Some time ago a guy told me that he ended up talking to some girl in a hotel bar, bought her a couple of drinks, and she was rather flirtatious — but when he suggested going for a walk, and after she refused, asking for her number — she claimed she was “not that kind of girl” and  walked off, in a pretend-indignant way. There is a bright side to that, though. As the German philosopher Schopenhauer wrote — I’m paraphrasing from memory, and translating from German, so please don’t bug me if you can’t find the exact same phrase in a translation:

No money is better spent than money we’ve been tricked out of. After all, we directly traded it for wisdom.

If more men would put a monetary value on the time they spend on women who only lead them on, I'm tempted to think they would realize the mistakes they are making. I hope that those of you who fall for those tricks will now start to trade not just your money, but also your time, directly for wisdom.

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Pushy, ‘mature’ women, and their exploitative nature

In recent comments there was some discussions about the suitability of certain women for relationships, particularly when less experienced guys are involved. Those poor souls are seemingly targeted by women who push hard for marriage and children. In those circumstances there is a lot of disbelief involved on behalf of the guys. Less experienced guys who suddenly meet a woman are so happy that finally someone, anyone, shows interest in them that they throw all caution out of the window. Let’s further explore those dynamics.

First, let’s restate that women who push hard for marriage and children, after barely knowing the guy, tend to be a bit older, and thus are desperate to finally get a partner. They may feel that they haven’t achieved much in life, realise that their looks are fading, and that men don’t seem all that interested in them anymore, at least the more attractive, more desirable ones, whom she may or may not have gotten when she was younger.


Knowing that they won't be getting any younger, they start to shop around. Suddenly the “losers” get some attention. They may have a stable job or, in the current economy, any job at all, and from the looks of it, she doesn’t get the impression that he’s been much of a player. This makes him a prime target since he will be more easily controllable. What that poor shuck doesn’t know, though, is that girls under that kind of pressure can be quite active, to put it mildly. While she pretends to fall head over heals in love with you, you may be the second or third guy this year she has attempted to reel in. In particularly bad cases, you’re the third guy she’s currently working on.

What I’ve learnt from my encounters with more mature women was that they were incredibly pushy, and were trying to rush through typical stages of relationships. You know, using “we” when suggesting things, and therefore suggesting a unity that doesn’t exist yet or which you intend to never enter. Or introducing you to her friends, discussing renting a place together, or even inviting you to have dinner with her parents. I once met a woman who was so crazy that she told me I had to have dinner with her parents after talking to her for 30 or 40 minutes --- with no sexual contact at all involved. That's the moment when you excuse yourself, and try to remember whether you've told her any details that would make it possible for her to track you down.


Estrogen must be one hell of a drug. You can have a desperate 30 year old in bed who attempts to coax you into sex without a condom because you can trust her that she’s on the pill. (Yeah, right.) The next morning, if you didn’t manage to escape on time, she brings up plans for this and next weekend. If you panic in those situations, you’re right. Panic you should.

Sadly, a guy with little to know experience won’t know that something isn’t quite right and run into her trap: Oh, how come she is now pregnant all of a sudden? I guess she must have forgotten to take the pill (for weeks). What, why would you want to have a pre-nup? Don’t you trust her? Don’t you believe in love? How can you be so unromantic?

Women can be incredibly calculating when it comes to marriage, thanks to contemporary legal realities. One of the worst cases I was ever told was a story of a guy who let his new girlfriend move in — after three weeks! He had a nice condo, and when discussing how much rent she should pay, she suggested to cover part of his monthly mortgage payment. Broseph, do you have an inkling of rationality left in your mushy brain? Just like it’s better to be scammed for small amount of money in your youth, so that you learn to take care of yourself, and not later in life when the stakes may be higher, so is it better to have bad experiences with women when you’re young, so that they prepare you for the bigger trials that may be ahead of you, and know that you can’t blindly trust women — and people in general.

When it comes to women, and money, the naivety of inexperienced men is all-too easily exploited. In the case of inexperienced, older guys, this is a recipe for disaster. My advice, should you find yourself in a “relationship” with an older woman who pushes hard for commitment after a few weeks is to treat extremely carefully. I’d say that you should get rid of her asap, but knowing how weak inexperienced guys tend to be, this will hardly work. In his mind, he finally is "someone" because he's got a woman, no matter how plain or homely she may be. Finally he belongs.

But what is an inexperienced, weak-willed guy to do then? If you really have no balls, and don’t dare to tell her to get lost, then simply refuse any kind of formal commitment — but tell her that you don’t object to the relationship in general, provided this is the case. She will quickly move on, because she’s in a hurry. You’ll probably hear that you are “immature” and “commitment-phobic”. The “man up” cries from feminist corners in the mainstream media target exactly those men who think for themselves and just can't be convinced that taking a pushy older woman as a partner is such a great idea.

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What you can Learn from the Fact that the Magaluf Girl Sucked 24 Cocks in 2 Minutes

A lot of ink has been spilt over the 24 cocks in 2 minute stunt of that girl on vacation on Magaluf. Clearly, she is enjoying herself, she is not drunk, and nobody is taking advantage of her. This is a great starting point for highlighting one particular social phenomenon: “nice guys”, call them white knights and manginas if you want, who think that if they treat a girl “well”, do her favours, and serve as an emotional tampon, she will eventually come to realize what a great guy he is, become his girlfriend and live happily ever after with him. In the seduction community guys like that are called ‘orbiters’, and they are deservedly ridiculed. What is interesting, though, is that such guys harbour pretty abstruse ideas about sexuality.


If you look at that girl, you have to concede that she’s quite good-looking: tall, slim, blonde. I’m sure she’s got plenty of guys fawning over her who never make a move. She’s surely being idolised by them. Probably every girl, no matter how promisuous she is, is someone else’s Virgin Mary. What is so amusing, though, is that those women happily string guys like that along, and take advantage of them for months or even years. They defend their inexcusable behaviour by claiming that they didn’t ask for any favours, or that they don’t want to “hurt his feelings” and tell him that they like getting showered with gifts, but would rather rub her va-jay-jay with Tabasco sauce than having sex with him.

It quite tragic that inexperienced men think sex is oh-so special, and that it takes ‘work’ to get it. Sex is seen as some kind of reward by them. As any guy who ever pulled a girl home from a nightclub knows, there is plenty of sex to be had with very little effort. Other guys are in denial about this too, and claim that people don’t really get laid from going to clubs, or that if a guy and a girl leave together, they’ve known each other. No, not at all! They appear to know each other simply because they leave together. How on earth would anyone even be able to tell, from watching a guy and a girl holding hands and heading towards the exit whether they met that night or have known each other?

On the other hand, what do you do if you have video proof? Let’s say you told some orbiter that the girl he’s fantasising about has banged a different guy every night she went out on her last trip? They’d tell you that you shouldn’t talk so much bullshit. But compared to one girl sticking 24 cocks in her mouth in two minutes, that’s quite harmless, isn’t it? I’m quite happy that there is footage, not of the ‘reality porn’ variety, but of real girls whoring it up. Don’t believe that girls go on vacation to bang tons of guys? Well, take a vacation and see for yourself. Manginas of the world: girls are handing out sex like candy. Open your eyes if you don’t believe it.

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Women's Liberation hits a new low: Girl sucks 24 cocks in 2 minutes for a free drink

This weekend a video of a girl who works her way through 24 cocks in exchange for a bootle of cava, that's a Spanish wine, went viral. You go, girl!

The NSFW link is below:

http://www.mallorcadiario.com/concurso-de-felaciones-a-cambio-de-copas-gratis-en-magaluf/

I'm sure she'll go far in life, given her display of ambition and determination.

I'm not sure I want to write much about this. Maybe I will once the feminist brigade rolls out and accuses people of "slut shaming". Am I joking? I honestly don't know, given how frequently that group of people embarrasses itself. I'll keep an eye on Jezebel.

What do you guys think about this?

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She is not the only girl who would want you, but run if she is

Men who lack success with women often hold questionable beliefs, as a direct consequence of their lack of experience. One example is the following comment, left on my post Let’s talk about Emotions:

Too bad there's a real possibility you dump that first girlfriend and never meet anyone again.

No, this is not a "real possibility". You can’t blame a guy who has little to no success with women to think like that, though. However, first you would have to know why that particular guy barely ever gets laid. This normally boils down to an unfortunate combination of poor presentation, little money, lack of social interactions. All of this is fairly standard. Then there are exceptions, and I’ve met a few of those men, who have their life together, dress well, are in shape, but still don’t get anywhere with girls. The issue those men have is that they don’t notice when a girl is interested, and don’t show any initiative either. I sometimes refer to this as “anti-game”.

No matter what your starting position is, and it may very well not be a particularly good one, you can improve your chances tremendously, if you work in yourself. The question is whether the potential pay-off is worth it, but that’s an entirely different issue. But let’s go back to the initial claim, and take it at face value. Indeed, if you are so desperate and so inexperienced that when you think of women you can only think of dry spells lasting years, you might be happy to take any girl who wants you. Careful you must be, young Pad wan!

Chances are that if you believe that the girl you are currently with would be the only one who would want you, you’re quite literally being set up. If you are an attractive guy who lacks self-confidence, then you are almost guaranteed to have paired up with a girl far below what you could get. Further, let’s look at the situation of the stereotypical unattractive nerd. Suddenly some girl shows great interest in you, and pushes the interaction forward. You are overjoyed that a real woman is interested in you. Finally! If anything, this should set off an alarm bell.

Pushy girls are either feeling their decreased sexual market value and getting desperate, or (this is an inclusive 'or') they are “reformed sluts” who realised that their lifestyle, while enjoyable at the moment, is not sustainable. Then there are women who very selectively chose their partners. I’m hardly the only guy who has met women like that, but I’ve met some rather peculiar ones. One woman made a point --- yes, she frequently verbalised this --- to only get involved with guys who were professionally rather well-established. Of course she would wait until she had sex with them because she had to properly check whether the guys had enough money for her plans. Eventually she found a sucker, and ‘accidentally’ got pregnant. Needless to say, she later on took him to the cleaners. From afar it all looked as if it was executed by clockwork. I bet all of you with just a little bit of experience have met, or at the very least heard of such women.

I think it is rather peculiar that we, as a society, warn young girls not to get involved with guys who will just pump and dump them — well, the warnings are there, but obviously not all girls heed the advice. But where are the societally sanctioned warnings to young men not to get involved with girls who seem to primarily have ulterior interests? Girls go gaga over the question whether the dick they’re currently riding might ‘love’ them, but as a guy you’re immediately branded a huge asshole if you question whether a woman might perceive you as a walking wallet.

Let’s be realistic, though: if women ignore you, then you can’t be very attractive. If you are attractive, but are unaware of it, or unable to take the initiative, you’re going to sell yourself short. So, what could that one girl who is oh-so into you possibly see in you that all the others don’t? Just as hot girls get pursued by many guys, so do attractive guys get plenty of chances. It doesn't mean that you would want to fuck all those girls, but the offers are definitely there. Likewise, hot girls don't want to go home with any dude who hits on them. If this is not part at all of your reality, and now suddenly one girl seems to desperately want you, then better ask yourself whether it is plausible that you are so special that only she saw something in you, but all the others didn't.

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Scared because you’re pushing 30?

Earlier today someone left a comment on my forum, saying that due to some personal problems he hasn’t gotten laid in years, and now that is 30 already, he is afraid that he has missed the boat. To corroborate his statement, he remarked that he had 22-year old girls in clubs tell him that he was too old. I’d like to discuss this issue in more general terms, since I’ve heard countless variations of that theme.

It is certainly the case that age will affect your chances on the dating market. However, guys in their late 20s or early 30s are a good decade away from needing to worry whether they can still score chicks. But let’s dwell on that girl’s remark, and why it’s nonsense. First, it is a single opinion that may not even be grounded in reality. For instance, maybe that girl was into him, but he was awkward, so she chose to attack him instead. This is fairly common behaviour.


Further, think about all the things any girl could ever want in a guy: it’s basically anything. Even worse, a lot of girls are so conflicted that they don’t even know what exactly it is that they want. He is supposed to have money and be successful in his job, but he is also supposed to have a lot of spare time that is to be spent exclusively with her. Or maybe he is supposed to be strong and masculine, but of course he also has to have a weak side and should cry. Those two contradictions are quite possibly the ones you most often hear about. But, hey, why bother with rationality at all?

Guys normally don’t have the comfort of being able to make up justifications for their fickle behaviour as they go along, but instead they have to show some consistency. You would get rather negative feedback if you loudly pronounced that something you desperately wanted you no longer found interesting now that you got it. Girls commonly exhibit that kind of behaviour, though, and white knights fall over themselves to make excuses for some upset little princess.

The purpose of this detour was to highlight that you’re better off ignoring what some random girl says. Should the next guy who is into her, and whom she likes, be a bit older, her rationalisation hamster will work overtime to give her a reason why she likes him. A large difference in age will of course justify her attraction because he is so ‘mature’.

You will normally only meet girls in some kind of social context — at this point it’s fairly well-established that ‘cold approaching’ women on the street is a colossal waste of time —, which means that as long as you have access to situations and venues where there are enough young girls around, you’ll get plenty of chances. Obviously, as a graduate student in your late 20s living on campus you’ll have a much easier time meeting girls who are barely out of their teens than if you live in BFE.

I frequently stress the importance of one's environment. While you had little choice over your environment as you grew up, as an adult you can move somewhere else if your current environment is holding you back. Moving, and starting a new chapter in your life, may be quite scary. The benefits can be enormous. Big cities tend to offer better employment opportunities, and plenty of opportunity for socializing. It’s hardly the most important thing in life, but, yes, it’s also a lot easier to get laid in a bigger city. You certainly wouldn't have to lose sleep because you've turned 30.

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Let's talk about Emotions

I received a couple of rather bizarre emails and blog comments recently, in which people (probably shills) were praising the work of some "guru" who, instead of focussing on how to pull girls, was nowadays all about telling guys how to handle their "emotions". This was supposed to be the key to successful long-term relationships and marriages and of course it would pay off plenty in your professional life as well. I felt reminded of virgin gurus who promoted surefire ways of getting laid, and now that this well has run dry, the new business model is apparently "lifestyle coaching" or "life hacking". One might wonder how a guy in his mid- to late 20s who doesn't look like a ladies' man at all is going to say anything particularly insightful about long-term relationships, though.

But let's not pick on those snake oil salesmen and instead discuss how you can get a handle on your emotions. Surprisingly enough this doesn't work through reading books or thinking about hypothetical situations. Instead, it's a matter of practice. Get nervous just talking to some girl? Talk to more girls! Get clingly after you've gotten a girlfriend? Well, why might this be the case, buddy? Could it, just maybe, be a consequence of you not having had much success with girls in your life, and now you think she's the one and only, even though she's a dim-witted brat of at best average looks and a highly defective personality?

This is a serious issue, bro! There are countless examples of guys with little to no sexual experience falling for literally the first girl that was willing to take them. In the best case they ended up in an abusive relationship with skewed power dynamics, paternity fraud, and an eventual divorce. Who could have known guessed?


The core problem is "neediness". The most insecure and inexperienced men obsess over women that hardly pay any attention to them. This is enough for those losers to pump money into that girl, hoping that somehow some kind of sexual relationship will evolve from those shaky foundations. Those guys tell you that they are "dating" some girl, by some definition of dating that does not include any kind of sexual contact.

Guys who are that inexperienced are easily exploited by girls. All it takes is one girl who is willing to kiss them occasionally and fuck them once everty three months. Again, this is not some kind of hypothetical scenario. I've spoken to guys who told me that their girlfriend whom they were dating for months has only had sex with them two or three times. Their girls seemed to care very little for them, and were normally quite noticeably pining for some other guys' cock. Yet, those guys claimed to be "in love". What happens in those situations is that the girl just does not want to be single, since many girls consider it almost as some kind of stigma. If she's single, she must be undesirable, she thinks. Thus, any kind of guy is better than none.

Then there is the issue that some girls, particularly as they get older, view relationships as some kind of business transaction. They are eager to trade their fading looks for a permanent meal ticket. For this purpose sexually inexperienced guys are suddenly very appealing. Indeed, an experience many "nerds" make, as they grow older, is that suddenly women they have been ignored by for years suddenly express their interest, maybe in the form of a message on Facebook where she writes, "Hey, why don't we have coffee to catch up?". Things can go quickly if she's nearing 30 and hasn't yet found a guy who was willing to keep her.

What's that guy supposed to do now? He has virtually no sexual experience, and here's this 30 year old woman who has been pumped and dumped for 15 years straight. He won't have a chance to defend himself against her manipulations. If he lacks a back-bone, and she is just a bit cunning, she'll easily be able to pull his strings. Of course, things like that never happen in real life. Right, guys? Maybe it would help him if he read what some reformed pickup guru has to say about "emotions"?

To avoid ever getting into such a horrible mess you have to get a handle on your emotions the only way possible: through experience. I'm not saying that you have to dump five girls in a row before you can attempt having a serious relationship. Some guys are emotionally more distant by predisposition anyway. However, there are plenty of guys who lack an emotional backbone --- excuse the overextended metaphor. Those people should treat lightly in the dating arena. There are women out there who will insist on marriage after knowing the guy for barely a month. Google is an amazing resource. Here's an excerpt from one of the first stories I dug up:

People are often astonished when I tell them we only dated for three weeks before my husband proposed, and only knew each other for four weeks when we got married. They asked how I knew and I can't explain it to them. I knew he was the one for me, even though I was 25 and he was only 19.

What a fucking coincidence, Jennifer! Dude, if your sexual and romantic experience is close to zero, and you suddenly meet a woman who is hell-bent on making you her boyfriend, and babbles about children and marriage after one or two weeks, you should not think that finally you're about to get your dick wet, but instead you should run for the hills.

You won't be able to sort out your emotional state through introspection. That's just like trying to get buff by reading about lifting weights. Instead, you have to expose yourself to situations where you have to face your emotions. How do you know you might to have to work on that? Easy, if you're together with the first girl you ever met, you certainly have a lot of growing up to do. Or if you find yourself fantasizing about a girl that was merely polite towards you (this is a common PUA trap). Or, if you immediately want any girl you have had any kind of sexual contact with to become your girlfriend. Get some experience! There are a lot of dangerous women out there, so beware.

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Microsoft Developed a Bra to Fight Obesity of Women

Sometimes you look at the output of Microsoft and you invariably ask yourself whether they are joking. Just think of the Zune, their SmartWatch or whatever it was called, or their push to abolish ownership for video games with their Xbox One console. The other day, though, I was made aware not of a product that made me pinch myself, but a research paper with the title, "Food and Mood: Just-in-Time Support for Emotional Eating."

In a nutshell, the researchers explored how to detect that someone was about to eat when it wasn't physiologically necessary, and how to keep them from doing so. The article makes for some rather amusing reading, because the researchers put sensors into a bra that would monitor the emotional state of the woman wearing it:

You just can't make that up!


In the paper the term "emotional eating" is used to describe any act of food intake that is not physiologically required. I guess that sounds much more politically correct than "gluttony". I mean, if someone said to Jennifer, "It seems that you are habitually engaging in acts of emotional eating.", she might think that everything is fine. Emotions are the gold standard of female behavior after all. Stay on course, sister! Just consider the "doublethink" you'd have to engage were you to use phrases like that instead of, "Geez, it seems she's about to stuff her face again --- as if she wasn't fat enough already." Nope, it's just "emotional eating". Nothing to worry about.

The hypothesis was that women seem to wolf down all kinds of unhealthy food to feel less depressed better about themselves. You'd really have to commend Microsoft that they not only diagnosed the problem of lacking will-power, but suggested a solution as well. But how does it work? It's quite simple, actually. Those sensors monitor the stress levels of the woman, and if they reach a certain level, apparently people (women) reflexively grab the nearest chocolate bar. Many men complain how unpredictable the behavior of their women is, but apparently this is one area where there is some certainty.

• Step 1: Can't handle your shit.
• Step 2: Get stressed out.
• Step 3: Emotional eating (yay!)

That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense but if I was a woman I could probably "feel" that this was a perfectly plausible behavioral pattern.

Okay, so the little beeper figures out that the female it is monitoring is about to freak out because she realizes she doesn't fit into last year's clothes anymore. To prevent things from getting worse, she might now interact with an app on her phone that is also described in the Microsoft paper. Look at this:

Did the 1st of April by any chance arrive early?

After getting stressed, she then has to breathe deeply. How well did this work? Well, the researchers write that they were able to detect with an accuracy of about 75 % when a woman was entering a heightened emotional state. However, just doing breathing exercises wasn't enough. The women instead would have "personalized interventions" to keep them from eating.

If you thought that a lot of academic research serves no practical purpose, then I hope that this article has helped you change your mind. There is some life-changing work happening out there. The authors even indicate that they have plans to develop devices for men, too. Probably is has to be a cup you'd have to put on the tip of your cock.

By the way, for the study, the researchers were enlisting women who work in their lab. Who knows, maybe they just wanted to see the boobs of their interns.

So, what do you think? Was this real research or did those guys just play a prank on those poor women? Further: do you also "eat emotionally"? (I don't.)

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An Anecdote about Absurd Female Entitlement

I travel a lot by train these days. Normally, I take a book and disappear in one of the few quiet areas. Last time, though, I felt a bit too tired to read, so I decided to watch a documentary on my laptop in one of the regular waggons. Shortly after I started the video, the middle-aged woman who was sitting behind me, started talking on , talking on the phone with her daughter or girlfriend or whatever. She was speaking loud enough so that I could easily have followed the conversation.

Instead, I focused on my screen. The big surprise came after about ten or fifteen minutes, because suddenly that woman was standing next to me and telling me that she like me to use headphones. Whoa, sister! I told her that I don't have any head phones with me, and turned my head away again. This didn't deter her, so she added that the video I was watching was disturbing her. It wasn't as if I was watching porn, or a loud action movie, or anything like that.

The whole situation seemed rather absurd, and not just because the volume of my speakers was adjusted so that I could barely hear it. I had actually been taking the other people sitting in the waggon into consideration. This is not at all common behavior. Normally you're exposed to significant noise pollution.
Okay, that woman was still standing next to me and apparently waiting for some kind of reaction. I noticed that some other woman was giving me an angry look. 

Was I now in some fucking feminist fantasy about the collective subjugation of men or what? I told that woman then that, I wasn't creating more noise than many of the other people in the compartment and pointed out that the volume of my computer was certainly lower than her voice when she was speaking on the phone. She then reiterated that I was disturbing her. I couldn't help but point out to her that there was nobody sitting in the quiet area, and that she was welcome to go there if she doesn't want to be disturbed. I really couldn't remember that she had asked me whether I was fine with her having a loud phone conversation either, so I really wondered what had happened to her to have such a ludicrous world view. In the end, I got some more angry looks, but then she buggered off and didn't pester me again.

I then thought that her behavior, as well as the behavior of the woman who gave me an angry look, was indeed quite peculiar. Maybe it was a very fitting example of how many women, particularly feminists, view the world. It's as if they think that they have all the rights, and no obligations at all. Men, on the other hand, have no rights at all. Even worse, the seem to think that they can determine how other people are supposed to act, and bully other people at will.

You can see this clearly whenever feminists play the role of a thought police. You're not supposed to say this or that, can't use male pronouns, heck, you're supposed to admit that male pronouns constitute "violence against women" (I've read bullshit like that online.) Or think of all their anti-male campaigns! They criticize men all day, every day. Yet, whenever someone dares to point out that male privilege is nothing but a figment of their imagination, and backs this up with evidence like the dramatically shorter life-expectancy of men, or the deplorable practice of family courts who would rather give custody rights to the drug-addicted mother than the financially and emotionally stable ex-husband, you're suddenly a "woman-hater", "oppressor" or "rapist". Well, all men are rapists anyway, so that's not really news, or is it?

But do you notice the common theme? It's about women demanding all rights, wanting to share no responsibilities, and expecting men to bend to their will. It's like in traditional dating: She has a job, too, but expects the guy to pay the bill. Even worse, you have a lot of passive-aggressive women who think they can hide their sense of entitlement by saying that it's the duty of the person who asked the other one out to pay. This sounds much more "pc" than "they guy has to pay. Period." Of course, in 99.9 % of cases it is the guy who has to ask the girl out, because all she'll ever be doing is sending ambiguous signals or engage in bullshit like showing active disinterest so that he knows that she's into him. Yes, I know.

How did we even end up in this situation? The other day I was talking with an American about this, and he commented dryly that he's apparently now paying for all the hundreds of black slaves he has owned in a previous life, and the thousands of women he personally kept from voting. To end this post with a practical piece of advice, I suggest that you treat female bullies like male bullies and just call them out on their bullshit. It works wonders, and in rare instances, it may even lead them to change their behavior.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!

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Why Relationships work, or don't work

Let's say Joe Ex-PUA listened to me and settled down with a young woman. You may now think, "Wait, how is this supposed to ever work when there will always be other younger women around? Won't he forever be tempted to jump ship?" Well, first, you'll also get older, and your focus in life will eventually shift from getting laid or, in the case of PUAs, fantasizing about getting laid, to something more constructive. Remember, you used to have hobbies in high school! Second, it's really not the case that girls are that easily interchangeable.

I certainly don't want to urge guys to settle down with some random girl, albeit precisely that seems to be what the average Joe is doing. In that case, you're pretty screwed from the get-go. Eventually she'll have a baby, possibly from another man, and she'll calculate for how long she has to remain married to you to maximize alimony payments. Sadly, Joe allowed himself to get bullied into not signing a marriage contract, since doing so would be "unromantic", according to the 32 year-old he married who was desperate to get a guy.


In case there is no sound foundation in a relationship, be it because you are really only together with her because of her looks, and can't stand her personality at all, or because she only has an interest in exploiting you financially, then you're indeed sitting on a time-bomb that might go off any day. Every conflict will erode the little that keeps your relationship together. By forcing yourself to staying with her instead of leaving right now, you are only prolonging the inevitable, while also causing more suffering for yourself.

There is a different scenario, though. Imagine there was a woman you really like. Maybe you were fortunate enough toe meet one or two like that in your life. You enjoy her personality, you've got a similar worldview, but not too similar, and you find her physically attractive, too. You won't come across many such women. A sad realization guys who bang a lot of women make is that they normally can't offer anything besides their pussy. They may be uneducated, and even if they went to top universities, they can be stupid as fuck, with their business or sociology degrees. She probably can't hold her own in a conversation, and if you're particularly unlucky, she may have an absolutely obnoxious personality. Sure, such girls can be fun for two hours, if you don't know much abut them. Eventually, though, you'll think of the opportunity cost of hanging out with her, and will quickly kick her out.

It's really rare to meet a woman you like personality-wise, and who is attractive as well as reasonably smart. Like attracts like, so if you feel drawn to a woman, it's probably mutual. This reasoning does not apply to women who fall for any guy out of sheer desperation, similar to guys who are so messed up that they think any pussy is better than none. Instead, I'm describing how emotionally mature people would interact. Both of you are probably aware of how unusual your relationship is, especially when compared to previous ones. At the very least, this would require a woman who is not completely average, though, since I don't think it's possible to build a deep connection with some chick whose sole interests are doing her nails and having shouting matches with whoever poor soul who is currently banging her. There are a lot of shallow women out there and, yes, I do think they are completely unfit for any kind of relationship.

Thankfully, not all women are like that. With those, then you'll experience, for instance, that shared positive experiences help to reinforce the relationship. What will also happen is that your shared history will only make you fonder of your woman. Ideally, you both want to get the same or something rather similar out of life. It may be children; I think it often is a prime goal in life. You might think of one child, while she dreams of having a larger family. You can't be sure about whether you'd want to have another kid until you've gotten the first one, anyway. So, there are good reasons for staying together. Some goals are completely at odds, though. If your prime interest is sexual, and hers is to spend your money, then there is no common goal to work towards to.

Physical attraction is important, too. In my opinion, everybody who denies that is kidding himself. Sorry, Fat Jenny, nobody cares about your "personality" --- just like you don't care about the "great sense of humor" of a five foot tall guy of a low socio-economic standing. But what about aging? I mean, if you read "manosphere" drivel, you could get the impression that women turn 80 on their 30th birthday. Neither of you will remain 20 forever. However, if you take a girl in her early to mid twenties as your wife when you are in your early thirties, which I consider a reasonable age of marriage for a guy, then you'll grow older with her. She will become the mother of your children, and when she's entering her thirties, you'll be around 40. I don't see why, as long as both stay in shape, physical attraction should suddenly evaporate. On the other hand, if you're a young engineer of 25 and are stupid enough to let yourself get pressured into marrying a 32 year-old woman, then I can easily see why the little physical attraction you might have felt in the beginning will eventually disappear, and why you wonder how come you wake up next to a monster every day.

To summarize this post, I think there is only one way to make a relationship work, and it depends heavily on the starting position. On the other hand, there are countless reasons why a relationship won't work out. In the US relationship counseling is big business --- quite possibly as shady as the PUA industry, but quite certainly a lot bigger. The big elephant in the room those "counselors" don't want to talk about is that many relationships are doomed from the start, and that there is no way to fix them. But, hey, why bother with pesky facts? The alternative is to be very selective about the kind of woman you're getting involved with, and growing the relationship.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!

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Attraction and Age Differences

Following up on my post Male Sex Drive from Teenage Years to the Middle Age, I'm now going to answer the the one remaining question:

What is your view about age when dating and chasing girls who are interested in you but significantly younger than you?

First, what exactly is "significantly" supposed to mean? Let's assume we're talking of girls past the threshold of the age of consent. Okay, say, she's 18. How old would a guy have to be in order to be called "significantly older"? I'd say, 25, 26 maybe. Ten years is certainly an age difference I would call significant.

Having settled that, the question then is how this would affect your sex drive. I'm tempted to say quite significantly. Youth is equated with beauty and sexual attractiveness. There are some absurd feminist campaigns that guys should marry someone "their own age", "a mature woman", or "someone who can handle you", but at the end of the day, this is all just so much hot air. Normally, you would pick a younger woman over an older one. This is fine, since girls prefer older guys, too, which explains the malaise of young guys trying to get girls.


The fact that guys want to get with younger girls also explains why older women complain that they are literally invisible. What happened to all those people she loved to complain about because they were "harassing" her? Turns out they now ogle other, younger, chicks instead. Of course, not having men chasing after her means that she now has time to post diatribes online about all those male sexist pigs who would rather stick it into a good-looking girl in her twenties than a "mature" woman of 38, like herself.

I think that it's not just libido-enhancing when your girl is younger. I would even go as far as to say that her youth is libido-enabling. Without her youth, you would not even think of pursuing her. Of course, if you had a weak mind, then feminist rhetoric that tried to shame you for wanting to fornicate with young girls would make you feel bad about your desires. Just think of the guy who asked me that question above: If those young girls are lusting after you, then go for it, man! Just make sure you're not just a walking wallet for them.

Further, let's not forget about biology. Even if some 38-year old thinks that she would be such a great catch, let's just be honest: She's not going to be the mother of your children. On the other hand, if you managed to settle down with a 24 year-old, you could take it easy for a while. Nature is surely not pressuring you to have children right now.

A few years can make quite a difference, as any guy who ever got involved with a woman around 30 has experienced. Many men find their behavior downright absurd. They might push really hard for a relationship, even in the complete absence of interest from the male. His opinion doesn't count, only his sperm. If this describes you, then please be extremely careful about protection, if you really have to get involved with such women. There is a good chance that she's lying to you about being on the pill. I've had this happen, and apparently any guy I know who had sex with more than one or two women, too. Some guys are not so lucky, and were thus tricked into fatherhood. What lovely little angels older women can be!

The ticking biological clock is just one of the reasons why older women can be quite difficult to deal with. They want to pressure you into anything. Of course, they do feel a lot of pressure themselves, realizing that there aren't so many guys interested in her anymore, and seeing friends of hers popping out babies left, right and center doesn't relax her either. But now she's got a new guy, and she's got to make it work! It sounds horrible, right? But now think of how much more easy-going a young girl could be.

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Reader Comment on Male Sex Drive during Middle Age

I received an interesting email from a reader (thanks, K.!) regarding my last article Male Sex Drive from Teenage Years to the Middle Age, and thought I better share it with you:

Aaron, 

maybe I'm an anomaly, but I'm just about as horny as I was as a teenager, and don't need little blue pills to get horny, hard or stay hard! Maybe a little motivation for those guys heading into their 30's and 40's, as I'm 59! I attribute it to not smoking, eating healthily as in organic whenever possible, staying away from red meat and keeping in shape at 5'9" and 175 lbs with a flat stomach. Partly genetics maybe, because I have longivity in my family tree on both sides.

I've met some guys in their late 40s and 50s who were in phenomenal shape. No, I didn't ask them how often they had sex, but I think they perform better in the bedroom than all those downtrodden 30-somethings you see everywhere.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!

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Male Sex Drive from Teenage Years to the Middle Age

I received an interesting question as part of a longer email the other day. The guy who wrote to me was curious about my view on how the age difference between you and your woman might influences your libido (i.e. are you better off with a younger woman), as well as how your libido changes in general throughout the years:

What is your view about age when dating and chasing girls who are interested in you but significantly younger than you? At what point people stop having sexual libido/desire or their desire decline as they age?

I'll cover the second question in this article, and the other in a follow-up.

Let me tackle the problem of declining libido in several steps. First, male sex drive declines as you get older, but I'll hypothesize that the change is largely due to lifestyle choices and constraints, and not so much due to biological factors. About teenage boys it is said that they would bang a hole in a tree just as well. This is certainly exaggerated, and just another example of the misandry of the mainstream media. Young girls are horny, too, yet no mainstream media buffoon ever wrote that they would shove anything in their vagina.


Regardless of whether teenagers really are hornier, I think it should be highlighted that sexual activity in teenagers seems more pronounced simply because many of them have more time to spare. They are exploring sexuality, and as an added benefit, having sex is a great way to overcome boredom. That kind of behavior is quite obvious among students who have no genuine academic interests, and it's pronounced at so-called party schools, too. Some days ago a commenter on the blog referred to the YouTube channel "I'm Shmacked", which offers OCD-friendly clips depicting the party life at US college campuses. Universities with a stronger academic reputation are conspicuously absent, but you'll find plenty of videos showing students at larger universities getting wasted.

Thus, it seems quite safe to assume that sexual activity among teenagers is not universally higher. It's well-known that a large fraction of incoming freshmen at elite technical universities like MIT are virgins. I doubt that many of those guys will turn into "players" later in their life, even though it's not hard to see how those people could fall for the empty promises of PUAs. In high school the geeks found different ways to occupy themselves.

The general theme is that the amount of spare time and opportunity determines your level of sexual activity. Sure, if you're a journalism freshman at OSU, and there are thousands of women around you could imagine banging, and if just to fill your time, your mind probably starts to wander on occasion. On the other hand, the diligent MIT student who tries wrapping his head around multivariate calculus and who calculates how much sleep he can afford to take the next few days, would view women as a mere distraction.

All those behavioral patterns will be evident later in life too. Even if your sex drive at age 30 was as high as at age 20, the mere fact that you now have to work a day job, commute two hours a day, and have to run errands in the evening will be enough to make you think that your libido has been plummeting. Instead, just like the hypothetical MIT student described above, you have too much to do and too little time. If you worked less, you probably would have more energy to fornicate. Of course, then the problem is that office environments are a pretty bad place to pick up women.

Looking at the situation of men in general, I don't want to dispute that libido decreases with age. However, it is an open question how much of this is due to inevitable hormonal changes, or simply a consequence of lifestyle choices. True, you don't have much of a choice since you'll have to pay your bills somehow, so it's more of a problem of how society is set up. If you're particularly hard-working, you might need a vacation to replenish your energy, before you can think about getting laid again.

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Three Billion Women, and what this means for One-Night Stands

My post on The "three billion women" argument was primarily about finding a partner. This is not the goal of everyone, but for every chest-pounding virgin on PUA forums who claims that he wants to bang more women than Genghis Khan has there are hundreds who secretly wish to just have a girlfriend. Of course, part of the problem is that some of those guys have the twisted idea that women would only have sex within relationships, while one-night stands are reserved for studs and guys which coke, but that would be a different topic altogether.

Let's say you're a reasonably well adjusted guy and you want to sow your wild oats for a while. Women don't just marry anybody, but their criteria for a one-night stand are often much lower. This is particularly true if she's got self-esteem issues and thinks that having some random dude bust a nut in her would make her feel desired and accepted. There's no shortage of such women out there.

Let's just take a different branch in the previous Fermi estimate, and continue at the point where we had whittled down the number of available women to about 5,000. Social class will still plays a role, but women are a bit less strict about that if they only want your cock instead of your wallet. So, if you're in the middle of society, then we'll be a bit generous and assume that you'll have no access to the top 10 % of society, and that you have no interest in getting involved with the bottom 20 %, for a variety of reasons. Both seems to be rather plausible percentages. So, you're down to 3,500 women, vs the previous 2,500.


Let's say your standards are slightly lower for women when it comes to one-night stands, so you only exclude 50 instead of 60 %. This leads to 1,750 vs. the previous 1,000. That's already an enormous difference. However, you'll probably find it easier to bang a chick whose worldview you detest --- it may even give you an extra incentive --- than one that physically repels you. Maybe you'll even say that no matter what she thinks, if she's hot, you'd bang her. It's just for one night anyway, or maybe for a week or two. Then you're at 1,750 vs. 500 women, and since you only want to get laid, you couldn't care less about whether your personalities are compatible. Then you're still at 1,750 women to chose from, while the guy who is going for relationships is down to 100. Those 100 he first has to find, while the other guy will relatively easily bump into women belonging to the other much larger crowd. All of this will make an enormous difference for their relative success rates.

Of course, the problem is that when it comes to one-night stands, women are more interested in your looks, so the better looking guys couldn't even fuck all the women who are willing to spread their legs for them, while guys who had less luck in the genetic lottery and thought that surely some women will find man-boobs sexy might have much less success. It's not as if any guy would have the same variety to chose from.

But what was the point of all of this? First, you might think that those Fermi estimates are a bit stupid. Well, they are used in science, for instance when eyeballing possible results of an experiment, before making any measurements. They are also quite popular with some HR departments, so you might find yourself confronted by an HR ditz straight out of ASU who asks you, "So, um, like, how many pingpong balls would, like, fit in a bus to make it, like, totally full."

Sure, you can dispute some of the number or percentages. But the assumption is that the errors in over- and underestimating values would cancel each other out. It's not at all perfect. However, if you play around with those numbers, and then use real data whenever it's available, you'll reach some pretty plausible numbers. Speaking of the first part of this article, I was looking for an explanation why it seemed so difficult to find a girl suitable for a relationship. In this article, on the other hand, the guiding question was why it is so much easier to get laid than to get a girlfriend. I won't claim that I have presented a proof that it's 17x times easer to get a one-night versus finding a girl that might make a great girlfriend. The former is certainly a lot easier. You have probably experienced that of the girls you bang, you can barely stand any of them once you spend more time with them. This is all due to their personality. More concretely, it's due to the extent and severity of the difference between your and her personality. Yes, PUA-tards, I know that your angle is to change your personality on the fly, but we all know how well this is has been working out for you.

Also, an aspect I have not considered is that aspects like traveling --- let's use Spring Break vacations as a particular infamous example --- can boost your sex life dramatically. If it's 17x times easier to find a girl for a ONS than a relationship back home, it's probably hundreds of times easier to get laid on Spring Break than to find a girlfriend there. Further, living in a tourist town will give some guys many opportunities to get laid, at least during season. Then there are college towns with a large transient population. It may not be so great if you wanted to find a wife, but you'll probably have a few good years banging incoming freshmen students.

What do you think of all this? Let me know in the comments below!

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The "three billion women" argument

One of the more asinine PUA statements is that there are "3 billion women" (google that in addition to "PUA" and be surprised) on this planet and therefore plenty of chances to get laid, and oh-so-many ways to experiment and refine your "game". The sheer stupidity of that number is hard to stomach.

Okay, let's say there are 6 billion people on Earth, 3 billion men and 3 billion women, and let's ignore the slight gender imbalance. We're working with huge numbers, so a few measly hundred million don't matter. So, Joe PUA, how would you go about hitting on all those three billion women? Well, first you would probably realize that you're neither a pedophile nor a gerontophile, in other words, you neither fuck children nor the elderly. Then there is the problem that a good one billion of those women reside in India and China. Too bad, bro!


As you think some more about it, Joe PUA might realize that he would not only want to not fuck some granny, but instead mate with a healthy, attractive young female instead. Also, he doesn't want to leave the country or state he lives in. In fact, he doesn't even want to leave his city. Then it hits him that he's actually constrained by the number of available women in his city. I know, I know, there is now talk of cities turning into megalopoleis, but they're getting nowhere near billions of people.

Let's give Joe PUA some variety to work with, so we'll locate him in a trendy US city like Portland, Oregon. Wikipedia tells me that there are 600,000 people living in it. Joe PUA is white, and he'd much rather fuck a white girl. Not that he's racist. It's just his sexual preference. This narrows his pool of women down from about 300k to 225k since about three quarters of the people in Portland are white. Now the PUA-tards might think that 225,000 women are more than they could ever fuck in a lifetime and can barely sit still in their excitement. But, dear PUA-tards, don't move to Portland yet, because it's getting worse:

"The age distribution was 21.1% under the age of 18, 10.3% from 18 to 24, 34.7% from 25 to 44," and you're probably not looking for anyone beyond the age of 40 anyway. Those statistics are not fine-grained enough. I therefore had a look at the most recent US census information. It wasn't a pretty sight:

Note that these data are for the wider Oregon region. So let's just assume that the percentages, which are shown in the right column more or less reflect the situation in Portland as well.

Joe PUA has no easy access to 19 year-olds, so the age category from 20 to 29 has to suffice. That's a mere 6 per cent of all women. Suddenly, Joe PUA went from 225,000 women to just about 13,000. Bummer, eh, Joe?

Let's continue playing around with the numbers, and take into account that a certain percentage of the women might be married. Let's say it's 30 %, and then some more might be in some kind of relationship, possibly another 30 %. What's left for Joe PUA then? About 5,000 women. Yes, yes, Mystery and Tyler, if you fucked a new woman every weekend, it would still take you about 100 years to get through all of them. However, in reality, all 5,000 single women of your desired age range in your city of 600,000 don't line up in front of your house. You've got to find them somewhere. At this point, your socio-economic status starts playing a big role. Popular fiction in the US is that they've got a "classless society", but if you believe that, then you're probably actively looking into buying a patch of land on the moon, too.

Just thinking of the number of women that would be available in the best possible situation versus the number of people in that city should be quite sobering for any PUA spouting out nonsense of "three billion women". What's even more sobering is that you're not the only one competing for them. Then, since women like to "marry up" you should be of at least the same socio-economic background, but ideally a bit higher. Let's say Joe is more on the average side, which will then cut the number of available women in half again: 2,500! It's starting to get depressing, isn't it, Joe PUA?

So far, we have not even considered physical attractiveness, their interests, or their personality. Let's say you've got some standards, and don't like to bang fatties. She should at the very least be slim. Let's be very generous and say that this excludes 60 % of women. Only a very small minority of women stays in shape, so I'm being very generous here. What's the total now? It's 1,000. Then some women have interests or a world view you can't stand. Let's say it's half, and, again, I'm being very generous here. The number is now 500. Now let's finally talk about personal compatibility. This is very tricky, and you'll probably find that you only ever really "click" with about 20 % of women, and that's a really generous number. What's the final number? It's a shockingly low 100 in a city of 600,000. You could easily fit them into a bus.

Please note that you will compete with other men for those women you desire, and those more desirable women might have higher standards which you may not be able to meet. But let's assume Joe PUA drops his PUA nonsense and follows a saner approach to dating, and doesn't repel 95 % of the women he talks to within the first five seconds. He then still has the problem that he has to find all those girl, and this is the big problem. Instead he'll encounter many women he'll have absolutely nothing in common with, doesn't find attractive at all, and who might have obnoxious personalities. Sure, for a one-night stand you may be able to ignore personality defects, but for any kind of relationship toxic personalities are to be avoided.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below!

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Real-Life Example of a PUA who Creeped Out an Entire Campus

In my last post on Wannabe PUAs and Social Exclusion I mentioned how the complete absence of tact can easily make socially inept guys alienate their entire surroundings. In the comments this discussion was enriched by a number of people, such as Johnny who chimed in that when he makes a new friend, he learns through Facebook that they've got a handful of mutual "friends" already, or an anonymous with the observation that he's bumping into the same people in a city as big and vibrant as NYC.

So, there certainly is some awareness that you're not as anonymous in the crowd as you might think. But what happens if you are a PUA who thinks that the world is his oyster and, just like in an arcade-style video game, he can always just insert another credit or hit the reset button? Well, "Sean Larson" is what's going to happen. (Thanks to another anonymous commenter for the tip!)

"Sean Larson" managed what you might consider impossible: He hit on so many girls at Ohio State University (OSU), and in such an indiscriminate manner, that his reputation grew and travelled far and wide. His reputation wasn't a good one, though. Here is a discussion on Reddit with hundreds of comments about a "Guy who harasses girls around campus", which started with this post:

Have any other girls out there ever been stopped by a short Indian guy named Shane or something? This guy has literally tried to stop me a grand total of six times, and every time he tries to ask me if I'm from LA or something cheesy. Does anyone know who this guy is? Does he even go to school here?

As the saying goes, karma is a bitch. I don't even know where to start with that guy. He has certainly proven that it is possible to completely wreck his reputation by utter stupidity. Have a look at the top ranked comment on Reddit:

YES! He's tried approaching me like four times, twice in Thompson. The first time he approached me, he just came straight up to me, kissed me on my hand (he kind of just yanked my hand up, because he took me by surprise), and tried to stroke my hair. I was like WTF?! Second time he tried to approach me in Thompson like we were supposed to be friends or something and I'm like nope Nope NOPE! I had to literally push past him, as I was leaving the downstairs bathroom and he confronted me in the hallway. I was then "Get the fuck away from me. I don't know you." He was still trying to persist and corner me and literally no one, in the crowded library, tried to step in despite me being obviously distressed. Maybe, it's just me, but if I saw someone in the same position I was in, I would've stepped in. 

So, when I've seen him try to do similar things to girls on campus and on High Street. I try to step in every time I see it happen because no one had the courtesy to do that for me. I've been seriously ruminating about trying to file a complaint against him but I don't even know his real name or who to go to, at least on campus. So yeah, that's my story. He's a creep and I seriously get sick to my stomach every time I see him.

Sounds like a charming little fellow to me. Like totally. And when I was reading that I was so "YES! I totally, like, want more of that!!!" Consequently, I dug around some more, and found out that the reputation of "Sean Larson" has been growing rapidly. The discussion on Reddit spawned articles in, for instance, the website of the student paper of OSU:

The 22-year-old man goes by the pseudonym “Sean Larson.” He said he uses the pseudonym to protect him from physical harm and stalking. 

“Campus is very tribal, so it’s like a tribal psychology place,” Larson said in an interview with The Lantern Oct. 26. “If you get found out for doing that kind of stuff (sleeping with many women), you can get extradited from the whole thing.”

Of course, Sean Larson tries the old PUA shtick of claiming that approaching a ton of women also means that he's sleeping with a ton of women. The problem is not that he's such a womanizer that all the other girls are pissed off because they have to wait for their turn until his dick is free for a few minutes so that they can hop on it. No, the issue is that he has approached so many girls on campus, and in such an awkward manner that he gained a reputation not as some kind of uber-manly Casanova, but as a complete creep.

Of course, according to that guy, the problem is that the women are such bitches. Here he is, verbatim:

They’re two-faced. When I’m actually meeting them, they’re all friendly and bubbly and give me their number,” he said. “Behind my back, when they go home, they’re talking s—.

PUAs are well-known for not realizing when they start annoying people, and they can't distinguish mere friendliness due to social norms from sexual interest either. But, hey, I guess if your plan is to just approach a few hundred girls then those subtle differences don't matter.

A commenter on that website described the situation very well:

You know, as women, sometimes you are approached by men and it is a really uncomfortable situation. So you figure, maybe if I’m nice but detached he’ll go away and won’t drag me into an alley and rape me. That’s not being “two-faced”, that is just self-preservation. That guy needs to find his kicks in some other way than harassing women.

I burst into laughter when I noticed that "Sean Larson" just had to chime in with a typical PUA comeback:

Some stupid rumors going on. Girls touch me, I don’t touch them. I’m the victim. The girls are sexual predators.

Of course, since there are so many girls after him, he doesn't have to approach a single one, and the OSU student newspaper just ran an article in which they implored all girls not to harass this poor little guy.

There was a surprising revelation at the end of the article, too:

Columbus Division of Police Officer Joshua Urlaub said Larson could be toeing the line of legal and illegal if he is too persistent in his pursuit of women. 

“It just depends on how far he goes with it,” Urlaub said. “If he’s continuing to harass them, and he won’t take ‘no,’ he’s definitely on the line of a harassment charge.”

Urlaub said anyone who is continually harassed should notify the police immediately.

This wasn't the end of it, though. The story spread to Jezebel, and some site called BroBible, of which I hadn't heard of yet, wrote a long investigative article on him with the lovely title How Ohio State Used Facebook and Reddit to Turn Against Its Campus’ Most Notorious Creeper.

I find it amusing that "Sean Larson" chimes in himself in the comments, thinking that all the negative attention he is getting is actually good for him.

The college kids posting there seem to have a pretty decent view of "game", though. Here's one commenter:

You aren't some sort of sex-wizard, you're just some dumbass who keeps flinging shit at a wall until it finally sticks. And then you brag about how well that shit stuck to the wall.

...and here's another:

What you're about to read is a tale of "pick-up artistry" gone wrong—how one dude in Columbus, Ohio managed to single-handedly piss off an entire college town and face an unprecedented amount of public shaming on Facebook and Reddit.
.... You know that's a bad thing right????

Following some more trails, I then came across an article in Business Insider. That PUA is apparently getting "famous". Their article had the rather unflattering title, Ohio State University Students Have Come Together To Shame A Notoriously Creepy 'Pick-Up Artist.

Compared to that guy some amateur who barely manages to creep out all the women who hang out in his local bar doesn't even register on the radar, though.

What do you think of that guy? Is he a creep or your personal hero? Let me know in the comments below!

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Wannabe PUAs and Social Exclusion

One of the most fascinating aspects of "pick-up artistry" is that it is commonly men who are socially excluded who are drawn to it. Think about it, if you were the popular jock in high school who had cheerleaders falling over themselves to suck your cock, you probably wouldn't google a phrase like "how to get laid". It's fairly safe to assume that the typical guy who falls for the many snake oil salesmen in this corner of the Internet has a deficient social skills already.

This puts him at an enormous disadvantage. Not having undergone a typical socialization process, he is unable to adequately evaluate the teachings of his new "guru". I mean, if you were socially savvy and saw what guys who actually got laid did, and what they looked like, there is no chance in hell you'd believe that PUAs who look like clowns actually get girls. Gullible guys don't know that, so they don't question them. Instead, they lap up their nonsensical advice. Approaching chicks randomly, dozens a day? Sounds good to him. "Plowing" in the face of complete disinterest? Sure, he'll try it.

What prompted me to write this post was in fact a Facebook status update I found in my email inbox some days ago. Here it is:

That guy looked as if he was (easily) in his 40s. Frankly, if your goal is to get rejected instead of finding girls who might be interested in you and trying to get laid, then you don't get the point of hitting on girls. It's about getting laid and, by extension, if you so desire, find a girl for whatever kind of relationship you're interested in. Getting rejected is not the goal. Of course, if you think that getting rejected ten times a day builds some kind of useful skill, then you'll probably disagree with me.

The vicious circle is already obvious: you've got guys who were not fully integrated in society to begin with. They lap up nonsensical PUA teachings, and therefore they adopt behavior that will only alienate the people around them even more. Sure, if you live in Manhattan, you could meet lots and lots of people. You won't really connect with the transient population, though, and once you try to meet people in places where people go to meet other people, you'll realize that you're living in a relatively small world. Even in big cities it won't take too long before you start bumping into the same old faces over and over.

On a side note, I knew guys who were "hardcore" into pickup in cities with millions of people. One guy had taken off three weeks from work to hit on girls on the street. What he realized was that people have routines, and that it's not so difficult to get recognized. This is not good if you're a "PUA" who dreams of pulling girls off the street into his bedroom. Your street corner is not so different from the bar down the road. Humans are creatures of habit, and most people will just do the same thing over and over.

This now leads to a problem for people who aim to become "the biggest reject" in their city. It's not as if he'll encounter hundreds of new faces every day. There were a few instances were "PUAs" were outed on Facebook for instance. There was this dude David DeAngelo associated himself with, "Dr Paul". That guy managed to build quite a reputation in a city as big as Chicago. His reputation wasn't a good one, though. Take a bad plan and stick to it despite repeated failure, and you'll achieve the unimaginable: creeping out an entire city.

The solution would be very simple. Guys would just have to stop doing completely absurd things like approaching dozens of girls a day, or hitting on any chick in the club. If you're in a small scene then it wouldn't take long until you can't show your face anywhere anymore, but even if you're attending a busy campus university, or if you live in a big city --- if you are really stupid and try to leave a bad impression with a dozen women a day, and if you take her friends into account, easily a number two or three times as large, then you'll eventually succeed turning yourself into a pariah.

Seriously, how many women are there, even in a big city, you would be interested in? Now subtract all those who are unavailable for whatever reason, and you'll realize that it's not millions. If you now further subtract all those who are not interested in you, then you end with with a fairly small number. That number is certainly a lot smaller than the number of girls that joker wants to get rejected by.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!

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Friendships in the Real World

A lot of men who end up typing "how to get laid" into a search engine seem to have a pretty strange understanding of how social interactions work, which gets readily exploited by shady PUA marketers. In recent years PUAs have moved from claiming to teach you how to get laid to some kind of all-encompassing lifestyle advice. Now they tell you how to make friends and become popular. Sadly, their approach seems to be about as flawed as their pickup advice was. PUAs tell you to go out and hit on chicks indiscriminately, and unsurprisingly this is also how they tell you to build your social circle. However, you normally don't make friends just by talking to someone. So, let's step back and look at how "friendships" in the real world work.


I think there are just two main factors: Randomness and common interests. The latter is pretty much irrelevant for the majority of people who have no real interest in anything, so I won't focus on it. Instead, the "friends" your average Joe or Jane have come primarily from the first category. This means that they draw almost all their friends from those people they interact most with, be it high school, university, or the workplace. This is pretty much all there is to it. They don't necessarily have much in common with those guys, apart from an accident of fate that put them in the same building. The implications are obvious: If you're an average bore and you want to go out, then you probably pick some of the guys that just so happened to attend the same school, and go out with them.

Some of you may now think, "Wait a minute! There are so many morons in my school, and I was just a fortunate accident that I met Jim in my Calculus for Beginners and Artists class." Sure, but it just so happened that some admissions officer drew a few random numbers, or looked up your dad's net worth, if we're talking about the Ivy League, and sent you an offer to attend their esteemed seat of learning. You would have found a new best friend at any university you had chosen to attend, or any company you joined. Some places are toxic, so you will avoid spending time with your colleagues, but those are statistical outliers.

In fact, whenever you meet a big group at a bar or club, they're mostly from the same school or workplace. It could be that the entire office trotted down to the bar at the corner to start the weekend with a nice pint of beer. Or maybe the younger guys are all new in town and want to get laid, so they team up and go out as a group to ogle chicks so that they've got something to jerk off to before falling asleep. People in general are terribly afraid to be on their own because they have so little to occupy themselves with, and therefore the prospect of getting drunk with people they vaguely know is pretty appealing.

I'm making some huge generalizations here, but for "normal" people this is pretty much how it is. Only a small minority actively seeks out their peer group through common interests. Heck, plenty of people will be afraid to try this or that hobby because they're afraid it'll make them look weird. Allegedly, this is one of the reasons why there are so few women in computer science and engineering. If you're a guy studying such a field, you are quite likely to fall somewhere on the Asperger spectrum, and therefore you may not always take the feedback of your "well-adjusted" peers into account. Or maybe you just gave a fuck what they thought because you realized that there are more interesting things to spent your time with than gossiping about celebrities, some "slut" from 12th grade, or obsessing about what kind of sneakers one was supposed to wear this season.

So, if you are concerned about your number of friends, then just be visible to enough people, and make sure it's a setting that allows you to meet the same people over and over and over again. However, instead of taking a course in Modern Set Theory with five other nerds, pick an Intro to Communications course, and attend all their social get-togethers. In general, people need the feeling of belonging to some kind of group, no matter how artificial it is, so if you're feeling alone at university and value quantity of social contacts over quality, then just follow the herd and practice your beer pong skills. On the other hand, if college is behind you, and working 40 hour weeks still doesn't make you value the time you could spend all by yourself, then join your colleagues for a drink. Don't worry, they don't really want to be around you either, but after a few drinks this won't matter so much anymore. Alcohol is often described as a "social lubricant", but, really, any kind of excuse that allows you to get together will do. Alcohol is just cheap, and easy to get, so you getting a bunch of guys together to play FIFA Soccer on the PlayStation while getting wasted is much easier to do than, say, getting enough coke for 12 people.

People generally aren't that smart, and they aren't particularly selective with regards to anything. You're a "friend" once they've seen your face a couple of times and made a bit of smalltalk, and if you think you don't have any chance to get laid, then just being around enough single women --- as long as you're borderline attractive --- will lead to enough opportunities. Sure, it's tough if you have to "cold approach", but if she has seen your face before it's absurdly easy. It just depends on your standards. My "lay count" could be three or four times higher had I gone home with any chick that hit on me at work or university. However, don't discount just being around many people either, since it will put you in a better position to meet at least a few interesting people like, say, some guy you genuinely like because he's got a similar world view and interests, or the very rare girl that is smart and good-looking. So, there is some value in "knowing" a relatively large number of people. It's just a question of whether you want to pay the price.

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